waiting, together.

we sat in the chromatic blades of grass,
glistening with raindrops from the wisp of the day,
our fingers laced & my breathing heavy.

i couldn’t look at him.

the silk of my palms was beaded with sweat,
and the bones of my body felt tense,
and above all,
afraid.

i had been waiting for this moment all my life.

the sky was a looming, thick, black,
blended with a wave of powder-blue.
it looked like a vacuum,
empty,
desolate,
without the sparkling fervor of the stars of every usual night –
but i knew this night wasn’t usual.

the light was coming.

he felt my body tremble,
and shifted closer –
the warmth of his body overshadowed
the hellish coldness of mine;
my golden locks leaped with ire in the soft gale of the thick air,
and my anxiety grew.

when will the light come?

it was my dream…

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sunday

i could feel the pulsating impact of my footsteps against the pristine, antiseptic white tiles.
i stared at my stained reflection in the marble floor until i found an empty space amongst the wooden chairs; it was not until i sat down that i looked up, and gazed at a formidable, giant form of the cross at the altar; maroon brown and as vast as they say the heavens are.
i looked away, and beads of sweat began to trickle down my forehead – everyone was still settling down.
i looked towards the windows, only to be slapped in the face by two beautiful mosaics of Virgin Mary embracing a sweet, infantile Jesus.
they were built out of a glassy cerulean blue, emerald green, mauve, and tinges of the rainbow. they were a spectrum of holiness and colorful sanctity embodied in glass, a speckled sky to admire, yet i could…

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LESSONS I LEARNED FROM SKIPPING A LEVEL.

“So, do you have any regrets or whatsoever, for skipping a junior high class?”

One of many questions i get asked most often. And what’s my usual answer? “No” i have no regrets for the decision i made and this post is going to tell you the reason why…

I skipped the last part of my junior year in school, registered and took the then external exams with my seniors… and then, i stayed at home, hopes high that I’d be posted into a school. Before the result and postings were out, i use to doubt whether I’d be continuing school or not… to me, i didn’t feel good, matured and prepared enough for my next step in life. But all through that, there was one thing i kept telling myself,
“If i had the courage to begin, i surely have the courage to succeed” one of my favorite quotations by DAVID VISCOTT
And, yes! I succeeded… i was admitted in although not recognized as one of the “best schools” in my hood, but, it was okay… for someone who skipped a class.
I lost about 15 friends the day and back to the answer, yeah, I’ve regretted nothing…

“How did you blend in?”

It was a difficult journey…at first, i was a type who wanted everyone’s attention. I wanted everyone to like me, both teachers and students. Until i realized, not everyone would like me. How did i come by this realization? Because i had a mate who hated me throughout our stay in school.

Didn’t the skip affect your grades?
Actually, it did. I found it difficult to understand some things at first, but miraculously, as we progressed, things became pretty much simple, maybe it was because I put in a lot of work. But all the same, i broke through.


What’s the point of this throwback?
Some decisions are difficult to take, let alone to execute, at first, they sound crazy, terrible and even sometimes unwise. All my friends stopped talking to me, I don’t actually know why, but they all ceased to be in touch with me. Well, I tried my best to be in touch, but if they weren’t ready, “who am I to force them to be my friends?” So I had to let go…
Now, as you are with your friends, happy and content right now, there will be a time where you have to choose between your friends and your dreams… I will urge you to choose your dreams over friends, if your friends can’t support your dreams, then don’t count them among your friends. If your friends don’t encourage and inspire you to work harder and support your dreams alongside chastening you, I think you might want to do away with them.

One other thing that I learnt, is that, whatever you do, there’ll be critics to criticize you.
…don’t be broken by the jabs they will throw at you, sometimes you have to soak into their criticism in order to evolve. Come back stronger every time…
“We cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are” – Max DePree.
Maybe criticisms are not that bad after all.

Lastly, one thing that will keep you in the game, is what you can do easily and everyone else can’t.
Why? Because the only thing that kept me in the competition, was my ability to write. Well, I will not boast, but in my class, one thing I could do more than anyone else was to write and read.
Other than that, I would have been made to feel useless…
What do can you do better than anyone else? Maybe you don’t know yet, but, take this quick advice, “Try Everything” did you know that aside writing I could design? Did you know that aside writing, I could act? And most of all, did you know that aside writing, I could criticize and encourage?
Don’t stick to one thing, get out of your comfort zone. Explore “Variety is the spice of life”
“He who has not made a mistake before hasn’t tried anything new”
My intense fear of failure almost crushed me. In fact, I would have gotten out of school with really, no good reputation at all. Well, I conquered my fear of failure…

For God’s sake, stop being Kakorrhaphiophobic. Get up back on your feet whenever you leap and fall, that way, you get to know about the mistakes you made and how to avoid them.

These few lessons I learnt some time back, has really helped. I’m not saying invincible now, but somehow, it’s not easy for me to break down now.

To conclude, I would like to quote a line from Sarkodie, one Ghanaian rapper’s song “SarkCess story”:
“I went through the pain, but I used it”
I don’t know your pain story, maybe it might be different from mine. But, there’s one thing I know for sure… and that is, you’ll come out alive, influential and strong. Just don’t give up yet.

RESPONSIBILITIES

When i was a kid, it never occurred to me how much my parents were putting in for me…
“…after all they brought me to this world… they have to clean up all the mess i make…”

I’d go and play with the boys outside even without the thought of what the family would have for dinner…
what i would wear the next day, was my mother’s problem
and how I’d go to school, was my father’s to bear…

Of course it was their responsibility…

Now, I’m growing
I’m shooting out of this dilemma… as reality begins to throw its punches at me….
now, i think before i speak…
knowing that my parents ain’t gonna stay with me forever…
that, they are old and weak now,
what seemed to be like their responsibility, is now mine to bear…

Times have changed
And things aren’t as they use to be
i make decisions now on my own… having to evaluate the pros and cons
now i know what it means to be responsible…

to be a responsible father,mother,son or daughter…
responsibilities, the force that drives one out of bed after 18hours of nonstop working…
Responsibilities never chase but no matter how far you run away from it,you eventually return to it… this time, harder than before…

now to the people out there, i know how much you’re forcing!
how you have to work to sustain the family…
how much time you have to put in to make the kids happy…
the sacrifices you have to make for others…

it will pay off
just keep on keeping on… eventually, one day, it wont be yours to bear anymore and it wouldn’t also be another persons burden….

just know and keep in mind, that in between the days when we’re born and when we fall into an eternal sleep, there’s something bestowed upon us, which in one way or the other cannot be escaped from… and that, is a RESPONSIBILITY!